After living in VT and working at the same company for 30+ years, it was time for a change.
Some background first: I grew up in a NYC suburb and did all the things expected of me. I did well in school, mostly stayed out of trouble, then, as most everyone in my town did, I went to college (in VT). I don’t think I wanted to go to college since I didn’t know what I wanted to do, but it was what everyone did… Anyway, so I was liberal arts at first, then decided electrical engineering made sense as I’d likely be able to get a job after college. (What I wanted to major in was sociology, but engineering seemed the like the responsible choice.) You’re getting the theme here, right? I did get a job right after college and moved to MA/NH with my then boyfriend. After a couple of years, we married and then moved back to VT. Then I got the job that kept me employed until I retired in Feb 2023.
Along the way, I got divorced, then had an 11 year relationship, where we built a house together, then split after about 7 years in. I remained, largely single, in the house for another 18 years. It was a gorgeous post and beam home with 10 acres, views of the Adirondacks, a barn for my horses, and a great neighborhood in beautiful Vermont! What more could one want? Change. I’ve wanted/needed a change for so many years. I think when my friend/co-worker retired 8 years ago it really started me wanting out of the life I suddenly felt very stuck in. In 2012, I decided to do something new and did some dog training workshops out in UT at Best Friends, and then got KPA certified in 2014. I did that as a side job until 2022 and had lots of fun over the years helping people and their pups and learning learning learning. I thought it would be a retirement job, but I’m not pursuing that right now, though I do think about how I might do something with it on the road. I don’t know if I wasn’t very good or my lack of confidence and imposter syndrome ate at me and just wore me down, but ultimately I wasn’t having fun at it anymore.
My precious Roxy (dog) died Feb 28, 2020 at 17+/-. As heartbreaking as it was to lose her, it was now my chance to get back to traveling and maybe make some major changes. (Due to Roxy’s seizures and old age, I had stopped traveling for the most part.) So now in March of 2020, it was my chance to travel... And we all know what happened next. COVID. F-ing COVID. So no travel, working at home, sequestered from friends and family, and no Roxy. I figured maybe I should foster a dog. Literally the day I decided to do that, I was asked to foster Zoe because she had issues with stranger danger (fear of strange humans). As a dog trainer, I was a good candidate to help her. I still have her today and man, has she blossomed! She LOVES food and I think she’s learned that many people provide food and no one is going to hurt her.
In July of 2021, Kane, my 34 year old horse, who I’d had for 33 years, died. Another tough blow, but did reduce complications for moving. Now I just had Lucy (cat) and Zoe. I did rehome Lucy and as hard as that was, I knew that my nomadic lifestyle would not suit her. I think she was never happier than she was in the new home with NO DOGS and someone who was home with her all the time. and could dote on her.
Anyway, back to me. 😆. Change. Change is what I had to have. In spite of all the wonderful aspects of where I lived, I had to get out. And that meant selling my house. That was the first step to freedom. I was so over owning and maintaining a house. It was now 25 years old and time to start fixing some of that wear and tear and I didn’t want to do that anymore. I always got way too stressed out by every little thing that it was time to let it go and let me be free.
I thought that living “vanlife” could be my next step, since I had a dog and thus international travel was off the table for now. So in April 2022, Zoe and I drove to NC and rented a converted van and lived in it for 10 days. Not super long to decide that I could actually LIVE in one, but better than nothing. Things didn’t go so well due to cold weather and things not working in the van, but in spite of those issues, I decided that I think I would enjoy this lifestyle and this would be my plan. Notice that I say “I think” in that last sentence. I figure that if I don’t like it, I can make another plan! Who is this person? I’ve lived such a staid life up to now, it seems crazy that I so easily say such things (and really believe/feel that way!).
So I went home and put my house on the market, closed in August of 2022, and moved to the family camp in the ADKs until mid October (thank you to my sisters for allowing me this luxury!). Lucky me! I then lived with my sister, Sue, for a month and a half before moving to live on the coast in NC for 6 months. The opportunity appeared for me to rent a house in a cute town where I knew not a single soul. I jumped at it. Since I didn’t have a van, I thought this would be a good step in my changing life. It was a good opportunity to see how I’d do not knowing people. And if I wasn’t happy then I could move back to NY with my sister (I cannot thank Sue enough for giving me this safety net and supporting me!!!).
Southern friendliness is real! At least here. It was pretty easy to meet people and make friends. In many ways I feel more a part of the community here than I ever did in VT. Maybe these are my people. So many people say, “You’re going to stay. Everyone does.” My response is “I won’t be staying, but I may come back!” Especially since retiring in Feb (woohoo!!!), it feels like a perpetual vacation here. Nice weather, relaxed and friendly people, eating out, getting together for drinks and music, going paddling, going to the beach, etc all make it seem like a vacation. I really didn’t have expectations about what these 6 months would look like, but had I had some, I think they would have been exceeded by my experience. I’ve felt really happy here!!! I hope this bodes well for the next step of life in a van, which definitely has some seriously scary aspects! Vanlife is glamorized on social media, but it has many challenges that I’m hoping I will overcome and be able to enjoy all the positive aspects of it. Life is full of challenges no matter what. I think it’s about overcoming those challenges and growing in the process.
So this has been my first step into the unknown and it was a wonderful experience for which I am incredibly grateful. This phase is about to end as I head back to Sue’s in a week or so. I’m sad to be leaving, but looking forward to the next chapter. I’m so happy I spent the winter here when the tourists are minimal, it’s not too warm (sometimes quite cold!), and the mosquitoes and no-see-ems haven’t gotten bad yet. And I’m looking forward to doing more exploring with Sue near her place and spending more time in the ADKs and visiting VT.
Something I find interesting (and telling) is that I left my home of 25 years without a tear. Somehow I felt nothing as I left that place. And when I retired after so many years with one company, I thought I’d feel left out of what was going on, and probably miss it a little, but I felt NOTHING. It was like I had never worked there. One day I was working and the next day there was no void. Nothing to miss. Had I been working in the office with my friends and coworkers, I'm sure it would have been different. So the fact that I made these two major transitions with no regrets, no sadness, nada, says to me that it was time — way past time to move on.
So I bought a van. It finally arrived at the end of April. It’s a brand new empty Sprinter van and my builder is now cutting holes in it… He’s just starting on it and I should have it by the end of August. 🤞Once I get it, I plan to stay in the NE and hopefully Nova Scotia, PEI, etc through fall before heading south, where I will surely stop in this lovely NC town!
So now I’ve caught you up to date on my entire life up until now. My plan is to post my thoughts and experiences here periodically, so subscribe and keep reading!
No comments:
Post a Comment